Thursday, 31 October 2013
Pumpkins, Knickers, surfing camels and things that go arghhhhhhhh!
I was in bed dreaming about camels on surf boards! Yes I know I'm a weirdo! I think it had something to do with the copious amounts of sugar in my homemade apple crumble. Plus the couple of glasses of wine I might have had too. Anyway, there I was in the early hours of Halloween dreaming about camels surfing the ocean waves when a blood curdling scream pierced my ears. I do remember lying in bed thinking.......'now this is more like a Halloween dream,' when I realised that I was in fact not dreaming any more. The camels had disappeared but the screams had not! Then there was a loud bang bang bang! So I threw back the quilt and hurtled out of bed in nothing but my vest and knickers! Not a pretty sight I can tell you. OH was completely oblivious as he has become so used to my nocturnal wanderings.
Of course, the first room I headed to was FD's room to make sure she was ok. I burst through her bedroom door like a stunt woman on speed to be met with a very disgruntled looking teen, sitting up in bed with her arms folded and kicking her bedroom wall. As if that wasn't enough to terrify anyone, she growled at me, 'What took you so long? I can't sleep you know!' And then, in order to test my patience further she added, 'when are you going to buy knickers that actually cover your bum!' Now, I had two choices here -
1. I could tell her exactly what I thought (which wasn't pretty).
2. I could smile sweetly and remind her it was only 4.15am!
I opted for option 2 because I'm just too flippin nice and simply because I didn't have the energy to do anything else. The last few nights I had been lead into a false sense of security by having undisturbed sleep! I had grown complacent and used to lying wrapped up in OH's arms in our lovely cosy bed. I was not happy at being woken up again and to be told my ass was too big for my knickers! Sometimes parenthood tests our patience to the limit. 4.15am is one of those times!
So, I dutifully climbed into bed with FD and we chatted about things like -
1. My too small knickers - again.
2. If we had a pony what would we call it?
3. Did I know that the dog ate my shoe?
4. Why is my bum so big?
5. Will FD's bum get as big as mine?
6. Does the Queen have knickers like mine?
7. Do I think Prince Harry will marry FD?
8. Where can we go to buy me new knickers?
And so it went on for 90 minutes until eventually she fell asleep again and I got to climb back into bed with my beloved - who then proceeded to snore until the alarm went off at 7am! So, in order to get through the day I now have my MASSIVE superwoman knickers on! And what's FD doing? Well its currently 11.30am and she's still in bed.............SLEEPING!!! ARGHHHHH!!!
Posted by JB JOHNSTON at Thursday, October 31, 2013