That sinking feeling!

At the weekend OH and I had the wonderful opportunity of having a whole night away to ourselves in a luxury hotel! It was bliss!!! No children! No worries! Well OK, yes I worried a bit about FD. I knew she was in good hands staying with my lovely mother in law but mummy brain always kicks in and I spent a lot of time thinking about her. Anyway, despite being a daft old bat I managed to have a fantastic time. We had a lazy lunch, followed by a massage in the health spa. We had a nap in the afternoon and a gorgeous dinner in the evening. At 10pm we sneaked a bottle of wine, 2 tubes of pringles and a bar of chocolate up to our room and had a great old time! Yes my life is truly rock and roll! At one point OH wanted to run down the corridor of the hotel and knock other people's doors and run away! Hard to believe the man is 43! We didn't do that by the way! We had other stuff to do.......errr...... Anyway............moving on........

The next day was spent with my step children as it was my step son's birthday. That was lovely, even if it did mean spending the day also with the first Mrs Jontybabe. But hey ho. This is what you do for love eh? I was very well behaved, smiled sweetly throughout the day and only swore when no-one could hear me! My lovely step son had a great birthday and was thrilled to have us fly over to see him! So, it was well worth it.

So, the week was started with me feeling happy and relaxed and totally rejuvenated and loved up again! I didn't even care that I had a difficult meeting planned for Monday. Nothing was going to upset me! Until I got a phone call that gave me that sinking feeling. It was a call from FD's teacher telling me that she was very concerned about her. Apparently FD was lying with her head on her desk and was shaking quite badly. The teacher felt that she was having a seizure and could I come to the school as quickly as possible. (FD suffers from epilepsy) So, I drove like a bat out of hell to the school. I am pretty sure I went through every red light and broke every speed limit! When I arrived at the school, probably doing a handbrake turn in the car park and bringing the car to a screeching halt, I got the shock of my life. Poor FD was completely out of it. She was on her feet OK but was extremely dazed with eyes like saucers. She was shaking a little and was having difficulty walking. Her seizures normally are quite subtle, with a little wobble and a bit of unsteadiness. Sometimes she throws up. But, more than often they happen during the night or she usually has a succession of absences. Compared to pre-diagnosis she is much improved thanks to medication and we manage her epilepsy quite well at home.

So, the teacher helped me put FD in the car and I drove her home. On the way home she didn't speak except to ask me who I was and how she got into the car. I was by this point trying very hard not to cry. When I got her home she was still very unsteady on her feet but managed to make it onto the sofa. After a while she soon came round completely and within half an hour was absolutely fine, asking for fish fingers! Just like that! After all that drama she wanted fish fingers!!! I wanted wine! Sod the fish fingers! So, I had gone from uber relaxed to a raging alcoholic with a nervous twitch in 2 seconds flat! Thank you my lovely daughter! She couldn't understand what all the fuss was about! Of course in the midst of this I suddenly remembered that I was supposed to be in work at a meeting to decide a child's future! Oh hell. Luckily my son was at home and offered to look after his sister for an hour so I could attend this meeting.

 So, I did my Jenson Button impersonation once more and sped up the road like a woman shot out of a cannon and ran into the meeting with paperwork flying everywhere, panda eyes because I had had a little weep in the car and my hair looking like I'd been on the back of a motorbike without a crash helmet! Surely there was an easier way to make a living!  There I was now having to be a bad mummy and leave my sick child because someone else in the world could not be a good mummy to their child and I was having to fight for the child they had given up on! I had my social worker hat on and heaven help the person who was going to argue with me!  I don't usually give a stuff about work when my family must come first but I knew my daughter was safe and happy and this child was not. Throughout the meeting my son was sending me texts every 15 minutes to assure me that FD was absolutely fine. I was almost daring someone to ask me to put my phone away because I was in the sort of mood to throw a chair. The meeting went well however and I did my job brilliantly (even though I say so myself). I raced back home again and swear I went round a corner on two wheels! I was like a stunt driver on LSD. I think I might need another weekend away to recover from this experience. Never mind superwoman knickers. I had my superwoman vest on too!