In the Bad Mummy club again!!!

As the weekends approach I am always trying to think of fun and interesting things for FD to do during time off school. Of course we usually don't do any of them because she usually likes to do her own thing which mainly involves shopping, looking around DIY stores, horse riding or going to the library. Anyway, like most parents I feel it is important that we make sure our children are happy and stimulated. We don't want them to be stuck, vegetating in front of the television or a games console. We want to fill their lives with fun experiences. Take my sister in law and her husband. They have their kids up mountains, long hikes, biking or involved in some Church activity. They are uber attentive parents, constantly offering some wonderful activity to their girls. Then there's me. And, this weekend I failed in the uber parent award! Miserably! (Hangs head in shame).

FD has been generally unwell for quite a while now so by this weekend was totally physically exhausted. She'd had a mini seizure during the week in school and was suffering from all manner of aches and pains. Her mouth is full of ulcers and she is very breathless due to her sore back. Sometimes my life feels like an  endless episode of ER as I'm constantly applying some lotion or potion or helping her in some way to find relief.  One of these days I am going to end up buying myself a stethoscope and hope that George Clooney turns up at my front door wanting to do strange things with a thermometer! *cough*. Anyway, putting all dirty thoughts of the Gorgeous George to one side, I do feel I spend a considerable amount of my life helping FD through all these ailments. Of course, in the grand scheme of things I shouldn't complain as there are many children out there with lots of really awful health issues much worse than FD's and other carers who deal with more than I do.  And yes, I know I sound like a moaning old whinge but please allow me this one whinge session!

So, what did our weekend consist of? Well, in our house the weekend starts on a Friday evening. What usually happens is I finish work at 5pm and drive down the road like a crazed woman because I know that after dinner the count down to Doritos and dip night has started! I live for Doritos and Dip night! It is the only thing that gets me through the madness that is work! However, on Friday the universe conspired to make sure I was late home! I had the meeting from  hell which went on and on and on and on! It went on so long that my bladder kept screaming at me to be emptied and my stomach gurgled with hunger so loudly that earthquake warnings were sent out because the rumble was so loud! Straight after the meeting I got a 'ring me urgently' note handed to me! What the hell could be so urgent at 5pm? ON A FRIDAY!!!!! And then it hit me! It was Friday 13th!!! So an hour was spent trying to track down the 'ring me urgently' person before it was discovered that her 'urgent' wasn't really so urgent AND NOT REALLY FOR ME!!! After a lot of throwing things around my office and saying some not so nice words, I finally got home to start my dinner late and then my Doritos and Dip night even later! However, before I even got through the front door FD was waiting, trouser leg rolled up to show me her sore knee along with a long list of other sore bits! She was also keen to tell me that OH had shouted at the dog that he nearly killed him by bursting his ear drums with his 'loudness'! By this point I had been on my feet 12 hours solid and was ready to keel over!

On Saturday FD did not get out of bed until 11.30am. Upon waking we had the usual 'NO I WILL NOT EAT BREAKFAST / BRUNCH' argument! She finally conceded and ate a Brioche roll for breakfast! Then we had the 'so what will we do today' debate. I provided her with my ideas to which she replied, 'no, no, no, no' or 'boooorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrring'! I then took one look at my very smelly, tousled and tatty haired daughter and suggested that after a shower she puts on clean jimjams and has a lazy day. She looked at me very thoughtfully for a minute or two and asked if she could put yesterdays knickers back on because they were her favourite! After explaining the need for clean underwear she agreed to shower and put on her new jimjams.

So, our lazy day consisted of FD sitting at the kitchen table drawing pictures of houses, playing on her ipad, begging me to do the lottery online and looking for her lost library book (still not found). Later on she had a Chinese takeaway for her dinner and then went to bed to watch TV. She poo pooed all my suggestions about baking buns and huffed with me because I refused to buy a house on the Internet for £3000000! Today (Sunday) we've had more of the same, minus the takeaway. Afro boy on both days didn't surface out of his dungeon until at least 3pm and then proceeded to have his thumbs permanently attached to his xbox controllers and talking to girls on skype! He and his room smelt like a gym locker and resembled a scene from a disaster movie. Upon turning on his bedroom light I managed to fuse all the lights in the house and poor OH spent ages climbing over old bikes and deck chairs  in the garage to get to the circuit box! Of course, I supervised the entire thing! I'm efficient that way!

Now, when FD goes into school every Monday her class discuss what they did at the weekends. Oh crikey whats she going to say!? I can imagine how it will sound........'we sat in our jimjams and ate takeaway while my mummy was on twitter'! And, as always she will throw in for good measure, 'mummy drank wine. Again.' I sit every Monday awaiting social services to come knocking on  my door. Then I remember I am social services and pour myself another glass of wine milk!The stress of being THE ideal parent is driving me to drink Dairy products! Some days my superwoman knickers just don't fit right!