Thursday, 6 January 2011

Big Knickers and treadmills!

Turning 40 was a very interesting experience. Whilst most approach their 40th year with trepidation, I have to say I was very excited! A completely different feeling when I was turning 30 and I was convinced this was the era when I would be resigned to wearing big knickers and have to be very sensible. Pleased to say some of that never happened and when I arrived at 40 I was so not sensible. The big knickers however were starting to rear (pardon the pun) their ugly gussets at me, teasing me with their promise of a flatter tummy and nice neat buns! The question is however, where does the fat go? Its nearly being pushed into my throat!

As soon as January 2010 arrived I was excitedly planning to have a big birthday bash, despite the fact it would not be my birthday until July. Everyone I know was bored stupid with my constantly chattering about being 40 and my party. I think they were all relieved when the day of the party finally came around. A good night was had by all. No-one died, puked or ran off with anyone else's partner! I did however forget to give anyone a piece of my lovely birthday cake! My poor house however did suffer and I spent weeks finding peanuts shoved down the radiators and various items of clothing that did not belong to me???? Oh and the odd shoe! My hangover lasted approx 1 week! The downside of middle age!

So, whats good about being 40? Well, for a start I can now blame my bad behaviour on my age! I've developed that, 'so sue me' attitude! When I go out with friends I dance like I am one of the kids from Fame and I don't care who is watching! Unfortunately I can barely walk afterwards, as was the case recently at another friends 40th birthday bash when I did the splits! (video taped and probably on youtube by now!) I do a very unfortunate 'dirty dancing' routine also when I go out and younger men tremble when they see me approach! Of course, I am convinced at the time that I am the sexiest woman alive! To make matters worse, I took a couple of pole dancing lessons a few years back and am now convinced that I can pole dance! I can't! Utmost respect to those who can! I managed to bruise every possible part of my body trying to learn and had to lower myself very carefully onto the toilet because I could not bend my knees due to the pain!

Because being 40 makes you realise that 'feck I don't have as much time left as I thought I did', you develop a 'I'm gonna cram as much fun/adventure/sex into my life as I can' attitude. And thats exactly what I have been doing. Thankfully most of my friends who are now approaching 40 have developed the same attitude. We all meet up more often than we used to. We party like we were still 18 and we laugh so much! We plan more days out too and little mini adventures. Recently, for example, we all had a night away, just for the hell of it. We stayed in a friends holiday cottage by the sea. Sat in the pub all afternoon drinking Baileys, went back to our cottage, drank champagne, got changed for dinner and had cocktails all night! We laughed until our drinks squirted out our noses, stuffed our face and then went back to the cottage, got changed into our PJ's and vegged out on sofa to watch Sex and the City dvd's! Bliss! When you are 40 you make up your own rules! Nights, or days, out no longer follow the usual pattern or rules. You do what you want, when you want and sod anyone else who doesn't like it! One of my friends wants us to spend the day in the country for her 40th - clay pigeon shooting??? Weird I know, but we're 40 so get over it!

Being 40 also makes you want to work harder at looking good and trying to keep fit. Cos you know you have to. The approach of middle age spread kicks in with a vengeance, as does the requirement to wear big knickers to fit into that Little Black Dress! So, to the gym I trudge! Its not enjoyable, you smell horrible afterwards and no-one ever looked good in trainers! But hey, its all part of keeping the rolls of fat at bay so that I can actually find my belly button piercing (midlife crisis post 1st husband), and trying to live longer cos that means you can party longer! Doesn't it? I've set myself new 'keep fit' goals. I am hoping to run the Race for Life this year without stopping. I ran the 5k last year but had to stop quite a few times to be resuscitated.  I know its not a huge distance but I had never run a race in my life (apart from the mummy race at school sports day - I came last!) This year is going to be different. I am gonna sprint those 5k like a blonde Linford bloody Christie!

So there ya go, that in a nutshell is my take on being 40! I love it more than I thought I would. I'm a calmer person than I was in my 20's or 30's, though not quite sure my OH would agree!  I try harder to find the positive in every situation, even when it feels like I wanna put my head in the gas oven! My life is by no means perfect and there's tons I'd like to change about it but I've come to accept it for what it is. I've been lucky to have found the love of my life, even if I did have to marry someone with the intelligence of a baked bean first time round. I have beautiful children whom I love so much at times I can hardly breathe. Life is what we make it and sometimes when it kicks us in the teeth ya gotta get yer big knickers and killer heels on and go out and kick it right back!


savvymum4 said...

OH LOVE IT what a great post made me laugh. My 40th birthday was very memorable as well as now I have Little Gnome lol

jontybabe said...

so glad you liked it! Gotta laugh or we'd only cry lol

Jessica said...

Stopping by from blog gems, what a great post, thanks for the laugh!!

jontybabe said...

So glad u liked it. Welcome & thanks for reading! Hopefully you'll come check out the blog now & again. X